Interview with an Expert: Kiley McGill, Marriage and Family Therapist
We are so pleased to feature Kiley McGill in our “Interview with an Expert” series. She has found her passion working with adolescents, who she helps take on life’s challenges with empathy and compassion. And sometimes…surfing.
Tell us a little about you.
My name is Kiley McGill; I am a Marriage and Family Therapist and professional clinical counselor practicing out of Los Angeles and Malibu. I utilize a blend of therapeutic approaches, meeting clients where they are, by integrating psychodynamic, mindfulness, and experiential therapy to recognize problems relating to grief, anxiety, depression, life transitions and multiculturalism. I work with a range of clients but find my passion working with teens and adolescents, seeing as this population tends to experience a lot of change in a short period of time and I love watching individuals find what sparks their curiosity and interest, and use it to help them continue to grow and change.
How did you get into your field? What sparks your passion for your work?
Coming from a racial and culturally diverse background, I recognized that there weren’t that many individuals in the fields that I felt I could relate to. It became a part of my work and a passion to provide a safe space for individuals who might be struggling with life transitions and self-esteem around multicultural issues such as acculturation, identity development, and family trauma. In curating a therapeutic practice and environment that is all inclusive, it allows individuals to recognize the importance of their unique identity and that therapy can work for everyone.
Growing up between Los Angeles and Hawaii, the ocean has always been a place where I find peace and solace. Through my own experiential therapy with surfing, I’ve learned the importance of practicing peace and acceptance in many aspects of life and believe in our power to heal and transform, and the possibility of experiencing life in a new, more expansive way that is more in alignment with your best self. I use the ocean and surfing in my practice as experiential therapy to provide individuals with new and different ways to utilize the world and resources around them to help encourage change, growth and healing.
How have you noticed adolescents manifesting a sense of loss due to the pandemic?
Loss is a word that carries so many different meanings, but loss is exactly what so many adolescents and teens were subjected to during the span of Covid. Loss of social interaction, loss of freedom to go outside and loss in being an active participant in their communities …the list goes on forever. What I found to be the most concerning was the increased loss of sense of self. The pandemic allowed so many teens and adolescents the time to truly sit with themselves and go inward, something we aren’t often required to do, and it presented itself to be a challenge for many. The separation from what was the norm lead to higher rates of depression and social anxieties in an age group that so heavily depends on the social cues received in their day to day. I think it’s important as adults who provide support, parents, teachers etc. to realize that the effects of COVID will linger with this generation for some time. While this may be the case, there are some positives. Teens and adolescents found a way to take back control and became mental health advocates for themselves and others. The surge in mental health awareness and the DEstigmatization of therapy was heavily influenced by this age group. Not feeling shame and fear around asking for help is something we can all look to learn from as we continue to navigate such interesting times.
You practice surf therapy, which is not something people in most areas of the country know much about. Could you describe what it's like, who and why it helps?
Surf therapy is a type of experiential therapy that can be practiced with all ages. I started surf therapy before I even knew it was therapy… As a little girl I would always go to the ocean to find answers, peace and solace: never in a million years did I imagine being able to share this with the world. The ocean shares a very similar Ph to that of our bodies and so it’s been scientifically proven that being near in or around the ocean naturally puts our bodies into a slightly meditative state… our body finds homeostasis without us having to do anything at all. Working with a range of clients from children with autism to adults in recovery, surf therapy has been such an amazing part of my journey as a therapist. Providing this service to teens over the pandemic proved to be one of the most rewarding experiences. With so many restrictions and controls being implemented, the ocean was a reminder that we don’t always have to be in control. In surf therapy a large factor is the ocean and how we have no control over the waves or the tides, but we do get to control how we react and interact… something we can all use some practice in.
As a therapist who works with adolescents, can you share one thing parents and teachers can do to better understand our teens and the challenges they're facing?
Don’t just listen to hear, listen to understand. Ask your teen the hard questions, challenge the viewpoints and thoughts they share. Being heard and seen is what we seek, but being understood is what we need.
You can reach Kiley at kiley@mindfulpath.com